Number Two? Yes They Do.

Hey guys; we have all had the experience where we meet a girl, and right away we think to ourselves that she is way out of our league. She's too perfect to even acknowledge that you exist and are actually breathing the same air as her. Well, if it hasn't happened to you yet, trust me it will. For those guys it hasn't happened to yet, I'm gonna give you three small words that may help you ward off this feeling and give you the courage to ask her out: Girls pooh too. That's right fellas. The girl that you deem too good for you could've probably dropped a log moments before you've seen her. A toe curling, two flush movement that some football players could be proud of. And it doesn't end there....she probably smells her armpits, laughs at her own farts and occasionally  mines for nuggets in the ol nostril quarry. Boys; girls are as gross as we are. They may smell better, have nicer hair, and bathe more often, but they are just as nasty as us. It is about time we refuse to feel less than perfect enough to date "The Girl" and stand up and declare with conviction Girls Pooh Too! Fuck it, lets make it into T-shirts and bumper stickers! A public display telling girls; hey! We know your fuckin secret, you dirty little things! You pooh damnit! You pooh! Damn you for deceiving us into thinking you were perfect! At one point in her life, her own pooh touched her legs! Yes! She did pooh-pooh in her pants just like we did when we were babies! Her perfect legs were once desecrated by her own pooh! Inconceivable! Katie Perry poohs, Madonna poohs, even Lady Gaga poohs (I'm sure she'll do a song about it) Point is; that perfect bum you've been staring at is not there for your enjoyment, it is a shoot for pooh. changes you perspective doesn't it?

Now get out there boys, and the next time you see "The Girl", Picture her having a painful shit, walk up to her and ask her out....chances are she'll totally shoot you down...and not in a gentle manor either...because let's face it boys...pooh or no pooh, she's way out of your league, and I have no mental picture I could offer to fix that. But at least you stopped being a pussy and asked her out.