iDigress

The clock on the classroom wall shows 10:05 am. The children are sitting in their desks, eyes transfixed on the second hand as Mrs Butterworth spews nonsense about long division homework. In 10 minutes that bell is going to ring, and it's time for recces! Little Penner Jenkins has beads of sweat rolling down his forehead as the anxiety is too much for his tiny brain to handle. Jessica Hansworth has been stricken with breathing patterns much the same as her mom did giving birth to her. Heart rates have elevated. Senses intensify as the minute hand teeters between the 2 and the 3 on what is now the most important object in the room....and then it happens!.....Like a starting pistol; the bell rings and hundreds of little bodies throw themselves down the hallways and out the doors.

Kids disperse,and blanket the schoolyard. Like dogs going doo-doo in the backyard, they spin in circles back and forth until finally, at the same moment, they all stop! They reach into their pockets, sit/lean/lie in place, .........AND ............start texting on their iPhones.

You know, it's hilarious when you think about it; There are so many parents out there that will not allow their kids on the internet at home, citing the dangers of the cyber world, but will give them an iPhone. Yeah, yeah, they're great for emergencies....but they'll still willingly send them out of the house with a hand held device that is probably more powerful than their home computer, and just as internet capable...lol, anyways another blog for another time...

Kids and iPhones are a recipe for disaster, no? I mean think about it; when I was a kid, it took at least an entire school week, three well drawn up blue prints, 6 full recesses of drawing up game plans in the sand, and 4 phone calls from underneath our beds at home to get into trouble. I mean that shit was calculated, intentional, and so vulnerable to detection that our parents usually busted us before anything could happen. Now all it takes is an iPhone, Google, and a quick text during a washroom break, and trouble is knocking at the door before the lunch bell rings on Monday. And parents don't catch on until they see the well documented shenanigans on Youtube as the 2,365,664th viewer. And if it wasn't Youtube, it would be facebook, or Twitter where they see that their son - aka @lilhoodlum is up to no good.

Going outside to play is a thing of the past isn't it? When I was a kid, my Dad would give me two wooden broom handles, a broken frisbee and some duck-tape, and shoo me outside and say "here, see what you can do with this". It was great! I made a hockey stick and puck, a slingshot, and the beginnings of a go-cart. Do the same with a kid nowadays, and all they could do with it is think "how the fuck do a make this into an iPod?" We used to hide Playboy magazines in Mr Higdon's shed. Nowadays, pictures - and even videos of gratuitous nekedness is safely tucked away in folders on kids' smartphones, being shared and uploaded between friends in complete stealth. (we got busted hiding Playboys because there's no reason for 6 boys to be in Mr Higdon's shed)

Look, I'm not knocking technology, I frickin love it! I hope it makes me rich! But at the same time; I know when it is useful, I know when it is informative. I know how to use it to enhance my life, my career, and my entertainment. But I also know the dangers that lurk around - like a wolf in sheep's clothing....do our kids?...iDigress....