Ask someone deep in the heart of Texas anything about Canada, and I'm sure some would rattle off every misconception ever conceived about shit like igloos, snow shoes, and baby seals. If you were to let them know you were from Canada, they would probably ask you if you've heard of Walmart, or televisions, or NASCAR. Now of course, I'm stereotyping the stereotype, but that's the greatest dynamic that keeps our two nations well...separate.
Anyways, I'm sure there are some out there that think we do not yet have automobiles other than ski-doos and quads...maybe a few pick up trucks (borrowed from American friends or families). If you really want to fuck with their heads, drive to Texas in a Lexus. I can see it now "Holy shit Darla! We better invade them sumbitches quick! They're mechanized! They're mechanized!" These are the same people who would bring silver with them for their first visit to Canada in hopes to trade them for some beaver pelts. They're expecting the Hudson Bay Company at the airport, and instead get a Starbucks. "Holy shit Darla! They're capitalized! They're capitalized!" They get into a taxi, and shit themselves when they try to pay for their $40 fair with an American $10 dollar bill and find out that it's actually $44 American. "Holy Jesus Darla! They're economized! They're economized!" And when they step out of their cab and into the 30 degree Celsius heat wearing their parkas; "Sweet mother Darla! They're climatized...climatized giddimmit!" "Yes, Norman, I know."
Now, now, don't get your grits in a twist. Like I said, it's all in fun. Besides, us Canadian really do like y'all. And we're appreciative of the fact that you tolerate our existence. We are happy to have given you Basketball, and the light bulb. We were more than happy to let you enjoy the chocolate bar, and insulin to go along with it...How about the zipper, Velcro, Superman, and Justin Fuckin Bieber! Throw in the best fuckin beer in the world, and you got Kick-Ass Canadian content!
We would be more than happy to continue training your fighter pilots, and would love to help you out with our special forces (one of the best in the world btw) Our oil, is pretty much yours if you'd like, and when you need higher trained doctors and nurses, please feel free to give us a call. They're getting sick of free health care. Our artists, and musicians are at your disposal, and would gladly love to produce another 10 Billion dollars in revenue for your production companies...tho we still refuse to take any blame for Celine Dion...
Look our relationship has always been give and take....just like two siblings who are allowed to poke fun at each other. And when the chips are down will be the first to back you up....but you'll have to supply the submarines....and if you don't mind; please don't tell Norman that Alberta has more oil than Texas....I don't think he could take it.
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